Ageing and Taking Care of Parents

In class on Friday we spoke on the cyle when adults go through ageing and then kids deal with the stress of caring for their parents and on top of that their children. In class we were asked to share personal stories. I was able to share a story about my Grandma who has been a huge influence in my life. I moved in with her right after high school to be able to save money while I go to school. Also in return I would help her with cleaning and anything she needs help with. This was good thing for me because there was a time where i was making bad decisions and she was the one good influence at the time that tuaght me to be better. She was one reason I started to get back on the right path. Though even though ageing can be difficult it can be a blessing as well.

Talking to Your Children

Talking to teenagers may be difficult sometimes, but it is important to remember to communicate with your kids and make them feel like your supportive. In class we been learning about the importance of communicating with your children with out talking down to them, but being equal to them. I thought of experiences I had as a teenager with my parents and how I was very stubborn as a child, but I was still able to have a normal conversation with my parents because they communicated with me. In class we talked about how parents should show more respect towards child and should listen to what they have to say. As you do that you teach your child to be able to communicate with you and trust you more. In this video it explains how your kids may be quiet and it is important to reach out to them.

Full Time Mom vs Career Woman

This is a subject that is very heated subject in society today. Choosing to be a full time mom and career woman can be hard. As Latter Day Saints we know the importance of being moms. Sometimes it is hard to balance being a mom and having a career. Sometimes woman have to work because of financial difficulties. Children do best when the mom is in the home. Now it is frowned upon if you stay home with children. It is not a bad thing to have a career and have kids, but it does help if the mom is in the home more. This is a personal decision and it doesn’t matter what people think or proving you are better than a man, but what you feel is right. I do feel women should be educated and get all the education they can because that can help them become a great mom and if they need to work a degree can help them get a good job.  I believe it is important to put family before career, but if you have to work because of circumstances it is ok. In the end everyone has a choice.

The Challenge of Communication

Communication is important in the marriage and the family. If the couple have a strong pattern of communication it will help the family to be closer. One problem as explained in this video is that married couples don't spend enough time together and go on less dates. They wonder why they are not close and that is because they are not engaging in enough time together. When a couple deos this they are on the border of becoming strangers to one another. The intimacy suffers when a couple deosn't take the time together to spend with one another. The couple needs to remember that their prorities are jumbled and their marriage should be the most important. Without a strong marriage the family falls apart.

Crisis and Family

In class we were asked to come up with ten crisis that we have experienced in our lives and in our family. We also had to record crisis of other families we know. As I was doing this I thought of ways I coped with this and how I dealed with it. In the book it talked about different ways to cope with crisis situations. One is advoidance which is avoiding the issue all together. Denial is another way to cope which involves pretending like nothing is wrong and nothing. Then there is scapegoating and that invovles blaming others for your problems and crisis. These are not the best way to cope with things or to deal with the real problems. I know with me personally I tend to use scapegoating as a coping device. I like to blame others for my problems. I don't use that method much anymore because I realized that it is not healthy to blame each other for things out of their control. So it is best to deal with a problem in a healthy way.

Marriage and Sexual Intimacy: How to tell your Kids?

This week we learned about the Suexual intimacy in marriage. Brother Williams had moments when he got  very embaressed, but was able to explain it very well. This is a subject that might be hard for parents to share with their kids. It is important to share with your kids what sex is and the scareness of it. It is important to do it with a level of maturitny and with care. Depending on ages children it is important to share and anwser questions. They might find it out from other resources and those migh be negative. So it is up to you to be brave and share. You don't have to express every detail, but be honest with them. Communication is the key with children and it is better that you communicate with them instead of the world.

Transitions into Marriage

Marriage is not easy, but with communication it is possible. Thats why it is important to start with communication before you get married. Let the person you know you are getting married too become aware of what you want and desire from the marriage. When planning a wedding talk about what you want and give input to each other. Brother Williams spoke about how important it is to when tansitioning into marriage to be open about things and be honest. I have had some friends who have fallen apart with their marriage because they were not open at the beginning of the marriage. Communication is the key......

Meeting your Soulmate

What deos that mean to meet your soulmate or to fall in love. In class we learned about the process of picking a partner and falling inlove. In our heads we have this ideal image of what we want in a partner.  So we tend to look for those people who are apart of that image. I think sometimes people let that get in the way and they might end up missing the oppurtunity of meeting someone who they compatable with. We learned that there are many ways in which people meet and get to know each other better. They are cohabitation, hangouts, friend, parties, ect. There are many ways to find out if you want to be with someone. I feel the best way is to date and not many people so that anymore. I believe those who court the old fashion way have more of a chance for a better marriage. So it is intresting how the process of falling in love can really make a huge impact on our lives.

Gender Differences, Confusion, Roles

In class this week we focus on gender differences and we focus in how they can get confused. As we were talking I felt that we are all different, but it is important to remember our gender identity. We were discussing how some people get confused about their gender because they might be different and not fit the typical role. Just because they are different deosn't mean they have to be attracted to the same sex. I was listening and I have family members who struggle with gender identity. There have been many studies and research on this topic. There is just alot of confusion when it comes to gender roles. For example my mom would help with the bills and money and my dad would cook and clean sometimes. I think that we can share resposibilities of roles in each of the genders. We have to know what gender we are. In the Gospel it tells who exactly we are and we are sons and daughters of God.

Social Class and Family

In this video it explains the different types of social classes that three babies were born into. It talked about how one of the babies was able to move and leave his socail class and excel. In his hometown he is still the same social class and that is how he is percieved. Social class in the family is a big deal and in some countries it is status that gets you places. In class Brother Williams taught us about social class and the way it can effect family. Usually someone in a lower class family has difficulty of leaving their situation, but it is not impossible. In the United States you can live the American Dream and work your way to sucess. It is still difficult to do that with the class system, but it is not impossible.

Family Rules

We learned in class this past Wednesday about certain family rules. Some family rules are set in stone and unspoken and others can change according to the situation. So we cam up with a list of rules which our family has and we discussed with our partner. I was discussing it with my partner and we spole of unspoken rules in our family. In my family the rule is to always call no matter what. If you were out with friends and never called you were in trouble. Some family rules can be to restrictive. It all really depends on the parenting style. For example a permissive parent is going to probably not set as many rules and give the child a bit more freedom. The other parenting styles might be a little more strict on the rule. Family rules can help us to function better in society. Sometimes rules can be to harsh and cause serious damage. I know in my family rules could change as we got older, but there were a few that never changed. So family rules can be a great thing if use properly and taught properly.

Sub Sets Fathers and Daugthers

This week in Family 160 we discuss the importance of family subsets. I honestly did not understand what subsets were until I discover the different subsets in my family. I realized that each of us have a role in which we play. We interact with each other in different ways. Elaine Dalton spoke in conference on Sunday morning on the importance of father and daughters. I thought of my relationship with my father and what he has done for me in my life. My father and I bond by doing many things together. We enjoy watching football together and many other things. I thought about how special His role was to me. As brother william explained subset I realized that each role was important.

What Do I Want Out Of This Class.

This week in class has been the most intresting ever. This week we have spoke of trends and different types of families. It is all explained in chapter one of my marriage and family book. We metion alot of statistics and how the family is changing. We were also thinking about what we want to get out of this class and what topics intrest us. Honestly I thought to myself they all intrest me, but the one thing that I want is to gain confidence in myself in becoming a good parent and wife. Right now I am single, but that is something that is on my mind. As we were learning about trends in the family which are divorce, delayed marriage, premartial sex, household size, birthrates, cohabitation, living alone, etc. As I was looking at those trends I realized that I don't want to be another trend I want to do my best to raise a good family. I am fully confident that with the Lords help anything is possible. Of course no one is perfect and sometimes we are in situations we don't mean to be, but I believe as I take this class and follow the Spirit I can conquer anything.

What is the Most Important

This semster I am a devoting a blog to Family Relations 160. The family is one of the most important units. The family is what helps us with our progression in life and it is important we focus on the family in every aspect of life.